Kinky Jokes

Don Von Alpha Dom
by Don Von Alpha Dom · 11 posts
11 years ago in IMVU Slave Market & Escorts
Posted 10 years ago
I'll go first then. :badgrin:


Wanna get laid tonight?

Crawl up a chicken's arse and wait.




My wife says that instead of watching porn, we should act out the scenes.

So I shat in a cup and made her eat it.





I threw my missus a surprise bukkake party last night....

Awww, you should have seen her face.




:badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: Courtesy of http://www.sickipedia.org
Posted 10 years ago · Author
Good find for a joke site Nyoko.

Here is one that I found: My son told me he couldn't wait to turn 18 so he could go to the local pub and legally do what he's been doing for months anyway...... Have sex with gay Alan who works behind the bar.
Posted 10 years ago
Lol! Everyone knows a ''gay alan'' :wink:

After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed.
"Now what?" I asked
"Hurt me!"
"Ok. You have saggy tits and I prefer your sister."
Posted 10 years ago
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.

I was in math class and my teacher asked "what comes after 69?" Apparently "I do" is not the correct answer.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
Posted 10 years ago
Nyoko Reira wrote:
Lol! Everyone knows a ''gay alan'' :wink:

After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed.
"Now what?" I asked
"Hurt me!"
"Ok. You have saggy tits and I prefer your sister."


Holy Shit... Laughed so hard... thx for that joke.
Posted 7 years ago
A dad sees his son swatting a Honeybee. He tells his son, "Just for that, you get no Honey for a month."
The next day, he sees his son killing a Butterfly. He shakes his head and says, "For that, you get no Butter for a month."
The next day, he sees his wife squash a Cockroach. The son turns to his dad and says, "Well dad, you gonna tell her or should I?"
Posted 6 years ago
What can a girl put behind her ears to make her sexy?
Her knees!


And something more festive... 8)

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Posted 6 years ago
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.


Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.


What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

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