We all want to be i know because i have a dream too my dream is to die. I know I'm young and haven't experienced the "true pain of having kids and not being able to pay for their needs". I just want to get rid of all the worries all the annoying people and all the bullshit. I want to die slowly and suffer for the ignorant people the way god did. I have no place on this earth anyway. No I'm not emo Yes i am crazy but its just my state of mind. No one knows what goes on in my head. The day people are able to read minds is the day that violence and war will break out simply because most people cannot handle the truth...

My way of life is to avoid people to avoid being hurt. I walk in school and only talk to the ones that talk to me. I try my hardest to keep to myself and i don't have many friends or should i say any at all. I go to school alone and come back the same. I go to the park alone and come back the same. So why go home and be the same. No one to talk to no one that really understands me. At this point you think you know the type of person i am but you don't know SHIT!!! Thats why I'm going to tell you. I am a kid not your average but different I'm strange Im tall I have geeky glasses and I love to play basketball. Sounds like the normal kid right?!? But theres more. It seems to me that i enjoy pain i used to stick needles in my body and see if it would hurt it did and i loved it. Im crazy. I know i am i wake up everyday with pain in my body and i love it. i used to cut my chest and back and watch the blood flow to my feet. I used to poke holes in my ears and see if i could feel the wind through...

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I hate the ones that enjoy life because i can't. I hate the ones who are happy because i am always down. I hate the ones that have many friends because i only have myself. To me life is shit i have bad luck all the time and i don't know why. I get stitches one day and a broken thumb the next it like its all planned out with horrible events. Im not a bad kid i don't do drugs i don't make fun of people and i don't curse a lot. I guess fortune hates me because i always have bad luck in me. It sounds like I'm just complaining about my life i know it does. But I'm not this whole thing has a meaning and so does my bad luck, And yes I'm just a kid I'm only 12...